Close Knit, Pt. 2

A Poem

They wanna see you he says

They been asking about you he says

They want you to come over he says

They invited you he says

But an invite by proxy isn’t really an invite

But I know what he means when he says

What I can only call half truths

And I die a little

I look at him and in his eyes I see something I once had

Glimmering lights of hope

Hope for love

Hope for acceptance

I see a reflection of myself in my fathers eyes

This is his family

This is our family

But my Daddy and I we’re

Awkward

Quiet

Why are we so damn alike?

So damn quiet

Why am I so much more aware

Of how it’s always the same thing?

With the expectations of a different outcome

When he says these things

They stay shocked when they see me at the door like who’s this?

Not someone we’d miss

Be more like us

You just like your daddy

We gotta help you out

You too shy

Too quiet

You boring

Just like your daddy

It doesn’t bother me he says

They always treat me

Like this he says

But it bothers me and

I know why when he says

All that he says

What he means to say is

I can’t do this alone

But together we can be alone

Watching as they live their best lives and pass us by

Together we can be

Black wallflowers

In this house of black social butterflies

Drinking away the loneliness

Eating away the loneliness

And you dancing away the loneliness

Taking shot after shot trying to keep up

Just so they can see you

Let you in for a few moments

Tonight, I can’t be the only stranger in a familiar place

Surrounded by familiar faces

That we call family

He says

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