A poem
They wanna see you he says
They been asking about you he says
They want you to come over he says
They invited you he says
But an invite by proxy isn’t really an invite
But I know what he means when he says
What I can only call half truths
And I die a little
I look at him and in his eyes I see something I once had
Glimmering lights of hope
Hope for love
Hope for acceptance
I see a reflection of myself in my fathers eyes
This is his family
This is our family
But my Daddy and I we’re
Awkward
Quiet
Why are we so damn alike?
So damn quiet
Why am I so much more aware
Of how it’s always the same thing?
With the expectations of a different outcome
When he says these things
They stay shocked when they see me at the door like who’s this?
Not someone we’d miss
Be more like us
You just like your daddy
We gotta help you out
You too shy
Too quiet
You boring
Just like your daddy
It doesn’t bother me he says
They always treat me
Like this he says
But it bothers me and
I know why when he says
All that he says
What he means to say is
I can’t do this alone
But together we can be alone
Watching as they live their best lives and pass us by
Together we can be
Black wallflowers
In this house of black social butterflies
Drinking away the loneliness
Eating away the loneliness
And you dancing away the loneliness
Taking shot after shot trying to keep up
Just so they can see you
Let you in for a few moments
Tonight, I can’t be the only stranger in a familiar place
Surrounded by familiar faces
That we call family
He says
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